Girls und Panzer: Erwin and Erwin
by Can't think of a good username
Summary: What if Erwin Rommel was transported by some convenient ancient plot-device into the future, where tanks are considered feminine and schools are on ships? -Currently being rewritten


Well, I've decided to rewrite the story a bit. It'll largely be the first two or three chapters that'll get the most changes. And yes, I deleted the other chapters. I still have them saved though. And for those who read this for the first time: welcome and I hope you'll stay with us. Also, regarding the fact that Rommel didn't know Japanese and that the girls probably can't speak much German, let's just say that for the sake of the story everyone can understand each other for the sake of plot convenience. A bit like Doctor Who, in which everyone speaks English. Also, I obviously don't own Girls und Panzer. If I did, then Hippo Team would get their own spin-off.

* * *

'_Today used to make sense.'_ Those were the first thoughts that came to the mind of the man standing in front of three young girls as he tried to recall the events that led up to this.

* * *

1942, North-Africa. If there's anything to be learned during the 120 kilometres of retreat, it would be that the days had started looking very similar. Every morning, it would be the usual fly-covered breakfast. Then a few vehicles would break down or get stuck in the sand. This always led to a big headache, since a choice had to be made: try to repair/push out the vehicle, or leave it be? One would mean losing precious time to the advancing British, the other would mean weakening his force. Today it was one of the Panzer III's, which meant that the choice was made even harder. Losing even one tank would be very bad for their fighting strength, and enough tanks had been lost during El Alamein a few days ago. Eventually the choice was made to disable the tank and salvage what could be useful. Not only was it time-effective, it also lessened the strain on what little fuel they had left. After this small dilemma, the exhausted soldiers started moving again in the burning sun.

It used to be another usual day, until the night came. The column suddenly came to a halt, caused by some commotion from the leading vehicles. In one of the staff cars, a passenger ordered the driver to break ranks and drive to the front, in order to see what was going on. Reaching the front rows, the car came to a halt and the passenger stepped out of the car, treading with some difficulty through the sand towards the leading tank. The man was none other than the infamous Desert Fox, Erwin Rommel, and he seemed not happy about the hold-up. After exchanging salutes, he was led to the cause of the commotion, which turned out to be a large pillar sticking out of the sand.  
"Is this all, captain? We can play tourist after we have escaped from the clutches of the British. Tell the soldiers to get back in their vehicles and start moving!" Rommel shouted at the officer, who hesitated to follow that order. Averting Rommel's gaze, the captain nervously stammered "Well, field marshal, you see… The soldiers say that the stone is ice cold, even though it's burning hot out here." Ice cold? For a few moments, Rommel contemplated if the soldiers had secretly broken into the alcohol rations, and if he should court martial them. But after quickly waving those suspicions away, since his men didn't seem drunk, he turned to the officer. "Ice cold or not, if we stay here it'll only be a matter of time before the British catch up with us. We can't afford to lose time, get moving!"

After the officer was send on his way, Rommel turned to the large pillar and walked a few steps closer. Curiosity was gnawing away at him, was this pillar really as cold as ice in the middle of the desert? After removing one of his gloves, the field marshal slowly reached to touch the pillar, placing his hand on one of the strange symbols. What he felt shocked him, for as it was indeed cold. Taking a few steps back, with his eyes widened, he tried to think of a logical explanation, only to come to the conclusion that there was none. After confirming that there was nobody paying attention to him, he stepped towards the pillar once more and touched the pillar once more, following the line of symbols carved into the stone. However, by the time he had reached the last symbol, which turned out to be an hourglass, his hand felt warm. In fact, it almost felt as if it was burning. Letting out a scream of mixed surprise and pain, Rommel quickly pulled his hand back. Or at least, so he intended to do.  
_'I-it's stuck against the pillar! It's as if it's glued to the stone! What do I do now?!' _In a mild state of panic, Rommel called for help in order to be freed from the pillar, which was heating up at an alarming rate. His desperation probably didn't alert him to the fact that a white light had started to shine from the hourglass symbol, which had slowly started to engulf him. Before the commander knew it, a flash of light blinded him. Disoriented, the man struggled to remain standing and fell to the ground.

What felt like an eternity later, vision slowly returned to the field marshal, and he slowly stood up. Guessing that his soldiers would probably have rushed towards him, he decided to put them at ease.. "Nothing to worry about, men. Exhaustion from our long march probably got to me, it's nothing serious. Time to get moving before the British catch up wi-" Rommel cut himself off when he saw that instead of his soldiers, a group of young girls wearing sailor outfits was standing around him. Eyes widening, he looked around him to confirm what he saw. Three girls were standing in front of him, each with a mildly worried expression. After rubbing his eyes, he could get a look at the location he was in: a street with some strange-looking buildings. The trees were green, something he hadn't seen since arriving in the desert. What was going on? _'Today used to be normal…' _That was the first coherent thought that came up in him since being blinded. His eyes landed on the girls again, and Rommel took his time to carefully study them. They could be dangerous, after all. The shortest one, standing in the middle, seemed to be the leader of the group. She was eating what seemed to be a dried potato, and looked the least concerned for his well-being. On her right, stood the tallest girl, who seemed to wear a monocle, which had a rather weird design. Finally, the last girl seemed to be the most concerned for his health. Feeling as if he should say something, Rommel asked the first thing that came up in him. "W-where am I?"

* * *

To the student council, it had been a pretty eventful day. In the morning, whilst preparing the film footage to show the students in order to encourage them to take up tankery, Yuzu had discovered that one of the new transfer students was none other than Miho Nishizumi, daughter of the famous tankery champion. Anzu immediately intended to push this Miho into joining the tankery team, since she probably has experience with tanks. Intending to celebrate this wonderful discovery, Anzu led her two friends to the supermarket in order to buy more dried potatoes as a celebration snack. However, on the way there, they found a strange man lying in the middle of the street. Yuzu rushed to the man's side, checking his pulse. Momo was more cautious, approaching the man as he slowly got up. "President, I don't think that I've seen this man before. We should be cautious, he can be dangerous." She whispered to Anzu, who just smiled in return. The man, who was wearing an old military uniform for some reason, seemed extremely confused of his whereabouts. Then he asked where he was. Anzu gave a quick nod to her friends, intending to deal with him personally. "You're in Ooarai Girls High School, sir! Can you recall where you live? Or if you have any relatives on this ship? We can help you get back home, sir." She spoke slowly, acting as if the man was either drunk or suffering from amnesia. "S-ship? I thought you said this is a school? Do you mean that this school is on a ship?!" With a very confused look on his face, the man took a few steps backwards, leaning against a wall for support. It seemed almost as if he was about to faint. Momo took a step forward, intending to know who this man was exactly. "Let's start with names first. Can you remember your name, so we can help you find your house?" If it became clear that his name wasn't in the ship records, they'd have to keep him under close supervision until they reached the mainland. "Erwin, Erwin Rommel."

* * *

Over in a house a few street blocks away, dinner was being served for four hungry girls. "It was about time Caesar, your time in that kitchen was almost longer than the Thirty-Years War." One of the girls, who named herself Erwin, started in a sarcastic tone, giving the chef an almost cocky grin. "Potius seo quam numquam, Erwin." Caesar replied before sitting down next to her. "Girls, today I chose to make something simple, yet nutritious. Eat up." However, just as they were about to finally begin, the bell rang. "I'll get it." Erwin sighed as she stood up and walked over to the door. The student council turned out to be the ones to disturb their dinner, and Anzu's grin widened even further when she saw that it was Erwin to open the door. "Ah, Riko! How fortunate that you're here to open the door! I believe that we have a family member of yours here, he was very confused and seemed lost. He wears a military uniform, just like you, and he also refers to himself as Erwin! Tadaah!" Curious to see who she meant, Erwin looked past the President to get a closer look at this 'family member'. Mere seconds later, she fainted.


End file.
